Poem of the Month (not spoken word)

October 2017 – List 1


Today has been one of those lazy days. We have been doing lots of spoken word performances recently, and the “Words w/ Friends” project is taking up a lot of our time. Some people that read this might know that I also study English Literature and Creative writing in Norwich at the University of East Anglia (also known as the UEA to its close friends), that being said, I haven’t had much time to be “creative”. These days I feel more like a poetic administrator than a poet, but, it is important to keep writing.

Has anybody tried a list poem before? it feels like cheating, because by the time you’ve gathered all your content, the poem is mostly written, it becomes more about assembly Than writing. Anyway I’m boring myself now. Here is the stupid poem:


List 1

why does your moustache match your hobby so well

and why wasn’t I surprised at your world war 2 collection


leering at women makes you so ugly, I find your lust disgusting

it is possible for a gluten free muffin to impregnate somebody


and make your belly swell to the size of a hot air balloon

we could float away and drink protein shakes for 65 days


on Monday I nearly got punched by a very old man

whilst his son stood laughing and cheering in the stands


and all I could do was watch the football up your shirt

how many gluten free muffins have you eaten this week


punk isn’t punk if you dress like the men that are already dead

and political poetry is just left wing fascism these days


a car crash is better than talent on stage

I have nothing in common with my mother


I wish I had something to say to her

I cry in my car about having nothing to say to her


every optician in town can’t make me see any better

all of the glasses are minutely different


all of the glasses make my nose look bigger

coffee can taste like blueberries


the sound of danger turns you on

and gypsy’s can spit in your face.


Yeah thats it, thats all the written poetry you are getting out of me this month. For more spoken word get over to our YouTube Channel or you know, come see BP-THK and a bunch of other up and coming poets perform in Norwich on the 26th of November. Details here.

Stay safe out there,

Billy P


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